Some time before the Christmas rush, I was lying next to my mom. I told her how I see colors when I think of letters and numbers. How whole words have a variety of color combinations in my mind. Something like that could be used for my acrylic pours, was one of my thoughts.
What I said out loud was, “What word would you like to focus on this next year?”
“Content,” she answered. “I want to be content.”
That was a few months ago with a lot in between. Now, in my studio, I’m pouring the Floetrol into tin cans full of gold, and white, and shades of blue. I want there to be sand and water in this acrylic pour. I want the word CONTENT to form in my mom’s heart when she sees it. I want her to see that word the way I see it. In gold and blue and a touch of soft green.
What I have come to love about acrylic pours is the lack of control. The prep work is the opposite. You pick your colors. You fill your cups. You add the Floetrol. Stir. Add the silicone not to the white though. Then you pour each color into the Big Cup. Any order you like because this is the one part you have complete control over.
Put your canvas on top of the can…then flip.
And, suddenly, the only thing you can do now is hold the canvas. You can tilt it, make the paint move in a certain direction, but that paint is going to do what it wants in the end.
It’s not you painting, it’s the paint showing itself to you.
This will only last a few minutes so you have to WATCH.
If you look away, you’ll miss a beautiful set of cells opening up on the canvas.
There are a million paintings in one pour and you can’t choose any of them. Not really. Kind of annoying, right? You never know how it will turn out. All you can do is watch.
I didn’t realize I was training myself to let go. Control makes us feel secure. It gives us the notion that we can prevent things from happening. It distracts us from our biggest fear.
As I tilt the canvas back and forth, it sinks in. The true test is when you have zero control. But, oh Lord, is it hard to go with the flow. To be content with what you’re given.
I hope this next year brings both of us reasons to be content, to be happy, to be free and to give our love freely.